If Elected

Don't worry. I'm not running for office (I may be the only one who isn't, at this point, right?).

Honest. I'm not planning any long-winded speeches, I won't be asking for money ... or even your vote ... and I certainly won't be making any promises I can't keep. I promise you that.

Then what?

Today's poem was written at another time ... in another place ... when and where it seemed that everybody else in the whole universe was vying for a position at the public trough.

It was a time when politicians were talking our ears off ... and dogs were barking all night. What a wonderful combination, I thought ... and there's no disrespect for dogs intended in that, I assure you.

If I WERE to be elected ... to anything ... it seemed to me at the time ... I would prefer to be the officeholder responsible for "mudging" curs (what ever that means) ... not the first time that a responsibility has been invented out of pure air (remember when we still had some of that?) ... in order to garner the votes of the undecided ... and unsuspecting ...

Well, from there it was strictly downhill ... and fast. But I had fun with the poem (remember, no disrespect for dogs intended), and here it is:

IF ELECTED

When finally I have

attained full growth,

I think that I

should like to be

a curmudgeon, which,

I'm told by my pal,

clear-eyed Ed,

is one who

mudges curs.

It's the least they

deserve for barking

all night at nothing

in particular while

decent folk are

pounding pillows,

trying to sleep,

but only attaining

grouchyhoodedness.

I promise, if elected,

not to be stingy

with my curmudgeoning.

© 1997

(originally published in Parnassus Literary Journal)

***

Today's word: curmudgeon

Afterthoughts ... in response to your comments:

Thank you, Featheredpines ... I agree on both counts. Regarding your vote ... and I'm not taking that as a firm commitment ... maybe I should state my platform right now: If nominated, I will not run ... and, if elected, I will not serve. That ... and it's not a politician's promise, I assure one and all ... should set a lot of minds at ease.